Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Doctor Worm's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, September 2nd, 2006
12:04 pm	I wasn't going to post this, but after a quiz in Sai's livejournal and a little fooling around, I had to post this. If you were on a battlefield right now, versus everything... Name Gender MaleFemaleAnimalUnsureRather Not Say Age Lover or a Fighter? Fight for good or evil? For GoodFor EvilFor Neither Battle Cry Weapon of Choice Vulcan Cannon Appearance Uniform, while riding your trusty steed Your Battle Cry... Resonates throughout the field for miles Foes slain upon first strike: - 76% What you fight The Invading Hordes You fight.... Because nobody else will This QuickKwiz by Ferggs - Taken 120790 Times. </a> New! Get Free Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz Take that, bitch. :3 Current Mood: amused Current Music: The PANIC! At The Disco song my brother's listening to. It's (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 18th, 2006
9:09 pm	Rock, rock on! School's out, bitches! This post is going to be thin, for the sole reason that I have one thing to say: It seems like forever a Sunday has rolled around and I wasn't making my lunch for tomorrow by now. Also, assuming I recorded every day without fail, there were 166 days of school this year. I am perfectly willing to admit error, but hot damn if that weren't a lot of days. If there was error, there would be more days, becuase I recall forgetting days and never accidentally did a day twice. O.o Now... go forth! Do something more productive than reading my stupid journal! CHANGE THE WORLD! --Doctor Worm Some days, it is a good day to die. Other days, it is a good day to walk around the house, totally undressed, reminding yourself how great it is to have days where you can walk around house without clothes on. It helps, however, if you make sure the house is deserted before you do this or you may frighten my mom and her bridge club. Current Mood: Freakin' Sweet! Current Music: Cat People by David Bowie (Comment on this)
Friday, June 9th, 2006
3:24 pm	I forget what we're doing. So, I'm being pressured to do this by a certain skunk (*glare glare*) in my LJ, like he did in his. So, here goes. Leave a comment and you win: 1. I'll respond with something random I like about you. 2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you. 3. I'll name something we should do together. 4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me). 5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you. 6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you. 7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you. 8. If I do this for you, you must (please) post this on your journal so you can do the same for other people. Huzzah! Current Mood: mellow Current Music: The hum of my computer box (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 17th, 2006
11:33 am	More previews! Well, it's May again, and I have to think of something to do for the Merlo Mic thing at my school the last Thursday. It's the last one of the year, so I think I'll do some "advice I've learned" over the past year. And for the one of you who reads this, you'll get a preview! Which is fine, becuase no-one who reads this goes to my school and wouldn't read it anyway. Ahem... Thus is a chronicle of things I have learned over the past year. Some of this knowledge is circumstantial, and won't make any sense unless you're in a situation it applies to. But just know, that anyone looking for an opinion will be hanged, people expecting a moral will be banished, those demanding to see sources will be shot. Survivors will be shot again. By order of the author and C.C., Cheif of Ordnance. All you need is love, but love needs chocolate, flowers and jewelery. There must be a scientific theorum behind infatuation with new people. Being apart from an old friend one can endure with equanimity, but to be momentarily seperated from one who one has just been introduced to can be unbearable. So, like, me and a friend went out, and we drank several bottles of soy sauce and got in a bet over who would win in Super Smash Brothers Melee, and the conditions of the bet are that the loser blows the other? Somehow, I expected my first sexual encounter to be with vagina... Kids, seriously. Don't do drugs. Fireballs happen. I found love once, but it turns out I'm violently allergic. It was said that George Washington couldn't tell a lie. I can beat that moral ground. I can tell a lie. But I won't! Being up here is hard work. When you're trying to be funny, to be a comic, you have to start strong and you have to end strong. You can't be like pancakes. All exciting at first, but at the end you're fuckin' sick of 'em. Love is a small, pointy box in a pitch-black room lined with spikes and electric eels. Women have a fascinating intuition. They can discern anything except the obvious. There are many, many things you can do with a pool of pure time. One of the least productive things you can do with it, however, is pee in it. Temperance is easy. There are all these talks about the dangers of caffeine to the adolescent brain, and body. But giving it up's easy, I can quit anytime I want. I know, I've done it thousands of times. [this will end the knowledge itiration] This year's been fun. I've even found a pasttime. I absolutely love talking about nothing. It's the only thing I know anything about. So, yeah. Lunch is soon, and this list will be added to between now and the last Thursday in May, so, yeah. And if you get where I'm pulling 95% of these from, understand that yes, I know that 95% of these are quotes. Those asking for sources will be shot. >;3 --Doctor Worm If you can't finish your thoughts, Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: none right now (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 19th, 2006
5:51 pm	Epiphany I'm doing a comic bit this Thursday at an open mic at my school. And, in doing so, a tidbit of a funny thought I may or may not be implememting in my gig on the 23rd. With out furthur ado... I think I may be bisexual. It's not so much that penis appeals similarly to me as vagina. I really, really don't like gay porn, and the yaoi grosses me out heavy. You, who that last part, after the comma, was specifically addressed at? YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. Stop showing me your yaoi. It's more appealing to my "creature of habit" nature. My dad's fiancé recently went on an "old videogame cardboard box" smashing rampage, and I'm afraid the box that held my tablet - with components inside, no less - was carelessly tossed aside. Keep in mind, this is my DAD's fiancé. It's like a new woman is entering my life by proxy. I think I may be bisexual because I am very much attracted to the prospect of both a close relationship and KNOWING WHERE MY SHIT IS. Back to searching for me. If I was a misplaced cardboard box with tablet components inside, where would I hide...? --Doctor Worm Your ambigously preferential canine, and that's all I have to say about that. Current Mood: frustrated Current Music: None at this exact moment (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 13th, 2006
2:40 pm	A plug I was listening to Dear 2 letters and one of the sign-offs, I think, blew my mind. "If you could go back and change it all, how do you know you already didn't?" That's some cool shit. 2 is The Dude. All one of you who read this EmoJournal should check that stuff out. Now, remember, um... slap Jesus. Hard. P.S. ACT's today. No one should have to sit in quarantine doing a test for 4 and a half hours. It is now my intention to sit down and play video games for several hours. Current Mood: chipper Current Music: None right now, but the Tag Power from AW:DS is in my brain (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 18th, 2005
2:43 pm	Ho ho ho! And happy holidays to everyone else. You know, I've been thinking a lot earlier, during the non-stop 24-hour Christmas specials, and Bill O'Reilly smacking down everything on "The War on Christmas," and why a religious holiday is government sponsered, but you know what? Who cares. Everyone should be able to wish each other their own holiday stuff. It's snowing outside (which is a surprise where I live. We have two seasons: summer and rain) and I'm happy. So thus, here are some holiday greetings. Happy Chanukah, Merry Christmas, Merry Yule, Merry Kwanzaa, Happy Festivus, Merry Wintereenmas (although that doesn't start till January) Cheerful Karachun, Humanlight, Saturnalia, Merry Yalda. Even though I celebrate Christmas (Mainly because it's government-sponsered and getting loads of swag is a very spiritual experience for me), all of you guys rock, rock on. Each and every one of you who make this world better, and less suck. And for all of those who I need around to keep my ego in line, um... keep it in line better. Ego needs a kick in the pants every now and then. Happy holidays, everyone! Current Mood: chipper Current Music: Geek 12 days of Christmas (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 8th, 2005
4:22 pm	I just had a CRAZY idea I should do a radio show. This way I can be all like, "Hey man, look at me ROCKING OUT, I'm on the RADIO!" Um.... okay. But seriously. Real Life Comics has Real Life Radio up again! And, like, hosting stuff and stuff. When opportunity knocks, you know? Trying to find a co-host who lives near me and won't object to me showing up and saying, "Dude, radio show." Added bonus: It will help me get better at thinking of stuff on the spot by forcing me to think of stuff on the spot. Repeatedly. Anyone have any ideas for stuff to do? Already we've got philosophical stuff, that spawned out of a discussion I had with a friend last Sunday. We're going to comment about stupid news, as there's plenty of stuff going on out there that I find FUNNY. And of course, after the first episode, letters!... but will that be enough for a full block (blocks at the site are in half-hour increments). Choices choices! Anyone who still reads this, send in your ideas for stuff to do while on air. Taht will be t3h r0(kz04. And now for something completely different. The play The Laramy (sp?) Project just got vetoed at a nearby high school. The principal canceled it becuase a bunch of parents said "No, this is bad!" What a spineless wimp, eh? From what I understand of the play, a gay teenager gets hung out in a field and beaten to death, and the play is about hate crimes. And.... why they suck, I guess. I know that much; I'll get someone I know to get me a copy of the script. But from that, all these people are all like, "It promotes the gay agenda!" That's evidence #9128375 on why people just don't excersise their 1st Amendment rights to just walk away, you know? Not nearly enough people nowadays go "You know, I find that but instead of demanding that it be taken down, just walk away." Tell your friends: Not listening is cool! That's all for now. Current Mood: energetic Current Music: Minibosses - Bubble Mega Man 2 (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 3rd, 2005
3:50 pm	Portugal? More like Porgu-SUCKS! My dad went to Portugal like, two weeks ago. I think his work was sending him there for some buisiness, and he was there for a week. Through his experience and that I like money, I don't think I will ever go to Portugal. First thing he said was the mediocre food. Okay, groovy. That's still not much, even from a glutton. I'm sitting here eating Ramen with a tad too much water in it, so, food not big point. He then brought up the unfriendly people and the fact that they ripped him off of 3500$. With that kind of money, I could buy a Wacom tablet, bribe Blizzard into letting me switch accounts on a few WoW characters, buy, like, three video games I've got my eye on, pre-reserve all three next-gen consoles and the games I'm looking at, and still have about 1500$ left for KY masturbation money. And the Portugans were all snooty, like, "Yeah, we'll charge you ten-times what it says we'll charge you, and we can get away with it, becuase it tells you we'll do that in this tiny pamphlet the size of Paris Hilton's thong." Well, basically, that's what they said. And due to some screwed-up international treaty, they can't get his money back. Portugal walked away from bitchslapping the Ulrich family wallet. Yeah, I'm not going to Portugal. Nor am I planning on going on a lot of other countries. Am I afraid? Yeah. I'm going to be man enough to say I'm afraid from getting shot or stabbed in the mouth, you know? Some people are trying to get out of the box and I'm like, "To hell with them, I like it in here! The amount of room is growing and.... I feel safe in here." America is like the box for me. It may suck, and the stuff outside the box thinks the stuff inside the box sucks becuase the box keeps trying to slap the things outside the box with it's dick, but goddammit, at least I feel a semblance of safety. I've got this huge land buffer between me and the corner of the world that hates us, and I'll be damned if I go there till the heat dies down. Current Mood: groggy Current Music: None, but "For Whom The Bell Tolls" is in my head (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 30th, 2005
10:03 pm	My back... Some pain visited me this morning. Right about the time I got to my dad's at 11, it was like, "Hi, I'm some pain. I'm going to be your friend today." The little fucker lodged itself betwixt my shoulder blades, and it hurt to breathe or move. It's gotten much better since then, and it unfortunately looks like it'll have cleared itself up in time for me to trudge my lazy ass down to the school bus stop tomorrow. And now, I have no idea how it happened. I don't think I pulled my back just walking lazily. I suppose it is a possibility though. I cleared things up with Conservative the other day. Basically, he was using that as an analogy to when a women recieves an unwelcome advance from some redneck in a bar, and when the girl slaps the dude. In essence, he claims he was just trying to be funny. All other evidence supports his claim sucking pretty hard. It's been awhile since I hit level 60 in World of Warcraft, but I did the math and it took me 496 hours, fourteen minutes and thirty five seconds, and that's not counting the work I did on a few alts scattered on the Burning Legion and Garona servers. Got a life to throw away? This is your game. </plugging> Went to a Halloween party last Friday. Had a lot of fun, and saw the movie Saw. Now, I don't know how much they've managed to keep in the sequel, which hit theaters, uh, now ago, but I was pleased with the first one. Considering that the horror genre has just sucked recently, with Boogeyman, the Amnityville...horrer movie (forgot the title), Darkness, White Noise, the second Ring, the Grudge and that Wes Craven werewolf movie, it's was pleasing to have a psychologically tense movie. Now, this isn't A-movie fare, but definitely creepy and worth at least a rent. Consider me ready to see the second movie. Um.... that's all. I have to go.... place. P.S. Oh yeah, and my dude on WoW is Xandor, 60 Human Priest on the Destromath Server in the Arcane Animosity guild. Drop by and say hi!.... or not. P.S.S. And isn't it time for daylight savings time to just die? Either stick with daylight or stick with standard, becuase I'm tired of being confused over the legacy of some 200 year old farmers. Current Mood: calm Current Music: Pawpets by 2 the Ranting Gryphon (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 23rd, 2005
1:42 pm	Wuh teh eff, mate? Someone I know said something that got me thinking. A disclaimer: Just because I'm thinking doesn't mean I'm thinking intelligently. The mouse can be running, but the wheel doesn't necessarily have to be hooked up to anything. So, yeah. I was at a Halo shindig this weekend. Shindig because a record low of 6 people showed up, and we coudln't really get the Halo working, and the Stealthbomber lost his copy of Halo at some point in time and had to rent one... that we didn't end up playing. But me and The Conservative were bitching about MTV and how it's our generation look terrible, and somehow the topic got onto 2's rants. I brought a CD over and we laughed at stories like the origin of the Neon Pink Pencil Fuck of Death and whiny "death-free" vegetarians who don't want to eat. Now, Conservative is just that; conservative. I'd like to think though I helped him tolerate the kind of stuff conservatives don't. Not necessarily accept, just tolerate, which I think is the most that can be asked of anyone. Conservative said at some point in the conversation, "It doesn't bother me that he's gay... but... if he were to hit on me... I'd smack him." Looking back on it, that statement makes me laugh, for several reasons, but it got me thinking: Is that REALLY a genuine concern of the homophobic? That all gay people are a bunch of sex-crazed hormone therapy experiments whose goal in life is to hunt down the nearest anus and rape it until it bleeds? Sorry to break it to you, dude, but 2 has better standards. ;p I might E-mail 2 and see what he thinks on this. In the meantime, I'm heading to my mom's college graduation. Eighteen years and seven attempts later, she's finally done! I get to wear a blazer, a fancy shirt, a tie and the best part, fancy pants. I am a SEXXY bitch, baby. --Doctor Worm I'm not a real doctor, but I am a real worm. Current Mood: also, a sexy bitch Current Music: Holier than Thou by Metallica (Comment on this)
1:34 pm	You are? Overdue post'd! Man, I'm retarded. Yesterday afternoon, I updated my mom's computer's Windows patch, right? And so I'm cruising the internet putting up with Window's incessant "You must restart your computer for the patch to take effect" crap, but I'm tolerating it. Then, I'm done on the computer around 10 PM and I tell MikoGal over AIM I'm gonna restart due to the restart warning. I get back on and out of pure habit, from back when AOL was on this computer, type "Got booted." Right around now I'm crossing my fingers and praying to any god who hasn't already dumped my name into a bowl of designer pig intestines and Corky drool that I said I was rebooting, not getting booted, to someone else. Nope. I said I got booted to Miko. I be an retarded. ¿You are? Doctor Worm out. P.S., does anyone know the title and/or the artist of that song? It's just "I am retardedoodoo, doo do do doo do, doo do doo doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doooooooooo?" On text it sounds like a guy with an epileptic tongue singing, but I like the beat, and it sounds like Hampton and the Hamsters singing, but I don't know... hm.... (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 16th, 2005
12:21 am	An old, old, old... old(?) friend's attempted suicide and a solution to the gay marraige "problem". And I use the word "problem" only in the loosest sense. I'd say "have a nice day," but I'm not paid extra to blow sunshine up your collective asses. First things first. The homosexual marriage shtick. This is the last I'm going to say of it, but I think I have found a solution to make EVERYONE happy. Someone brought up a good point on 2 Sense, about how even though the whole gay marriage thing is a violation of minority rights, you can't really expect to change religion. And so, here is my idea for a solution. I even ran it by a couple of hard-core Republican and Christian people I know, and they approved, so, and now, my test audience. Let't get this train-wreck a'rollin'! Before I start, yes, this was caused by an article in the newspaper about how 3,000 same-sex marraige licenses have been revoked. I bitched, and fingers flew into people's eyes. When I got calmed down enough to down a 2-liter of Mountain Dew with, like, six million pixie sticks in it, I came up with this. Step one. Abolish state-sanctioned marraiges. Kill them in the teeth. Give them back to religion. Seperate church and state. With me so far? Step two. Make unions standard for homo- and heterosexual couples. Give them the benefits of marraige, call it something different and take the religion out of it. Things like the tax break, the ability to be considered immediate family in the case of medical emergency, et cetera. Unionize it and make it standard. This way, the gays can be considered family and the church gets religion back. Eh? EH?! Bigotry, eat stabbity death, mutha-fucka! :::does dance::: And now, as for my friend's attempted suicide... I garantee you, anyone reading this (except maybe Alan if we wakes the fuck up. Wake up, asshole!) will not know the person in question. I'm not going to mention any names, but apparently, around January 23rd of this year, jumped off of the Burnside Bridge. I'm not sure how much compassion I SHOULD be feeling for him, considering I haven't so much as called since 5th grade (for all those geniuses out there, I am in 10th grade now) but when I found out Thursday (rather late, mind you) I felt... something. I believe it is what you humans call "compassion." Seriously, you wouldn't really see this coming. This is the guy I wanted to be when I was 9. The smartest, most athletic dude who would even put up with my total dumb- and jackassery then. Considering the dumb- and jackass I was then, that's as big an indicater of his character as one could guess, minus the fact he fucking TRIED TO ICE HIMSELF. Jesus... When he jumped, he missed the water (as would be expected), shattered nearly every bone in his body (he's gonna need, like, bone grafts for his jaw)... and I ask, why, jackass?! Trying to kill... yourself?!?! Over what, nim nuts? We all have problems. God, damn.... Dude, when you get better, I'm beatin' your ass BACK to the hospital, you stupid fuck. And don't pull any of this shit again, or I'll kill ya. Current Mood: Mad as Hell Current Music: Streamline, by System of a Down (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 27th, 2005
4:11 pm	Spongebob... gay? Fuck no! Hey, me again, as I'm sure by now you're all tired of hearing about me and everything. Yeah, as you can guess from this title, this is going to be about homosexuality. Now you may have gotten tired of me beating the whole "gay rights" horse to death in my last "Stupid things people have said" post, but, fuck(1) it, I don't give a damn(2), and you don't HAVE to read this. I write this to vent, and it's up to people to decide to read it. H'ok, so, I would like to direct you all to a very important something. For those of you with crappy internet connections, some Christian fucknut(3) activist groups are getting on the case of a guy, whose taking over a hundred cartoon characters and making a video called "We Are Family" promoting acceptance of other people, celebrating differences, y'know. And I'm like, "Fuck(4) yeah," because especially after 9/11 and the pile of elk shit(5) that our country has become under the glorious rule of the Bush(6) administration, we need more promotion of peace. And the aforementioned Christion guy, he's all like, "Well, this is promoting acceptance of homosexuality, Spongebob's gay, blahblahblahblah..." This.... pisses(7) the fuck(8) out of me. I'm not kidding! These are exact words: ""A short step beneath the surface reveals that one of the differences being celebrated is homosexuality... "Their inclusion of the reference to 'sexual identity' within their 'tolerance pledge' is not only unnecessary but it crosses a moral line." Yeah, you wanna know what moral line I think YOU'RE crossing? BIGOTRY, you stupid fucks!(9) And what the hell are you talking about, THEY'RE FUCKING(10) CARTOON CHARACTERS! Who the fuck CARES(11)?!?! "Well, what will my intolerant 5 year old watch now?" You peabrains... You know, I think John Kricfalusi, creator of "Ren and Stimpy," said it best when he said, "Are Ren and Stimpy gay? I don't know. That's their buisienss." And Clinton said it best when HE said, "Don't ask, don't tell." And Eric Schwartz also said it well when he said, "Keep your Jesus off my penis, I'll keep my penis off of you." Spongebob is a cartoon character. For five year olds. Pick your battles, for Christ's sake! I'm not kidding, when I first saw the article, I had to go into "pussy(12) meditation" to keep from finding one of these guys and feeding them their teeth. You know what I want you to do? Get a bunch of people and show them the article, and get them all pissed off. Then we're gonna go get into cars and go kick ass! And when that day comes and we can kill the Christian Rights people, then I can be happy. Jesus advocated turning the other cheek for the purpose of universal brotherhood and these twinks are telling everyone to be more intolerant than Woodrow fucking(13) Wilson. So, fuck you. You keep believing in hypochristianity, and me and my REAL Christian friends are going to give you the finger and make fun of the Pope's hats. This is vid, your holier than thou demidiety. Peace out, prosper, rock on and party hard. P.S. btw, the R stands for Retarded, Miko. My bad. And yes, you were right in my misspellings. Go you. P.S.S. Thirteen swear words? That's unlucky. What the hell is my problem? Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: Keep Your Jesus off my Penis by Eric Schwartz (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 9th, 2004
3:15 pm	Lip synchs... short rant. Wow. You know, I was almost able to go a week without finding something that pisses me off. I should have learned by now. A short while ago, Ashlee Simpson, who apparently is some famous pop singer, was found lip-synching along to a track. Now, it turns out that all these OTHER artists are guilty to one degree or another. The Wu-Tang Clan was doing it. It's like a drug, and all the famous singers are doing it. I'd like to think that my favorite band, System of a Down, isn't, but you never know; it's becomeing a plague. Some of you might wonder why this pisses me off. Well, let's look at it this way. We. All of us. ALL of US. Pay these pop-rocking twinks millions of dollars collectively to create CD's and entertain us at concerts. Because you know, the roads are in perfect condition, and the schools are such a nice place where you learn stuff, and airport security? Heh, couldn't be tighter! We pay these people millions of dollars - to do NOTHING! That's what lip-synching is! They're using machinery to correct your pitch when you can't hit those damn high-notes and sing along to a track when they play live. If I came up and I asked for forty dollars per person, for CD's and concert tickets, when all I had to do was lay on my ass and have a good face, do you think you'd pay me forty dollars? Fuck no! You'd shoot me in the face like the greedy fuck I am!... Was! Now that I've gotten that out into the open, I'd like to create an army: vid's Army Against Morons, Bigoted, Irritating Fucktards, or vAAMBIRF. It's not quite Vampire, but it was fun coming up with the acronym. And we're going to start by dropping off bombs and blowing Britney Spears' bones across four fucking time zones, and go from there at the talentless pop stars until this shit is outlawed. If this is what passes for entertainment these days, it's no wonder our grandfathers look down on us. I am vid, your bored-as-hell demidiety. Peace out, prosper, rock on, and party hard. Current Mood: confused Current Music: Dead by They Might Be Giants (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 27th, 2004
7:38 pm	Some of the dumbest things I have ever heard Wow, holy hell, it's been a long time since I've updated. Things have been happening; school homework shit's hitting the fan, I'm trying to learn to draw, and Bush has been re-elected, so forgive me if I've been a little busy flipping off members of Congress than writing in this blog of crap I call my LiveJournal. Anyway, here's a special edition. I hear a lot of stupid things in my life. Hey, if ninety percent plus of the world can't find their ass with both hands, people are going to say dumbass things. Or do dumbass things. Or just prove that evolution can actually work in reverse. So, here we go. "Marrying someone the same sex as you is as bad as killing somebody." -- a paraphrased Christian belief. Remember when I said that I would do my best to pick fights with religion when it's necessary? THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! I heard this one at school, and in the midst of bitching about it for a full half hour, someone I had previously thought to be an intelligent human being AGREED WITH IT. What the fuck?! How can anyone possibly confuse two people loving each other enough to be bound to it by a contract who just HAPPEN to both be of the same sex be as bad as someone coming up to you blowing your fucking brains out with a goddamn cannonball?! And hey, since they're both hellworthy sins to your pious ass, if I say I'm gay, I should be able to stab you to death with a rolled-up newspaper and I shouldn't be any worse off for it! Is that what you people are trying to tell me, you fucking cockmongers?! "We should look forward to the future." -- Former Vice President Dan Quayle. Hell, I would certainly hope so! "Well, there are jobs here!" -- Again, Dan Quayle, holding out his arms to a Burger King. "One must acknowledge a supreme being before being able to hold public office." An actual, still-going law in Texas. Besides Bush winning the election again, this and a few other reasons are why I don't think anyone from Texas should be elected president again EVER for a hundred years. Maybe then the inhabitants will have pulled the cheeze whiz out from their brains. Or not. :::sigh::: "If it hadn't been for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college." ... no comment. "Gay people shouldn't be married because... it's wierd.........." A guy I know. Not at school. Different guy God fucking dammit! When will you people grow the fuck up?! You people have all these things going on about gay marraige, but if you don't support it, DON'T FUCKING MARRY SOMEONE YOUR SAME GENDER, YOU FUCKING PEABRAIN! It doesn't effect you, and the fact that it got illegalized in my own fucking state makes me nauseus! That's all I can think about right now. But oh no, this isn't the last stupid things said here. There will be more, as long as the government continues to pass safety legislations preventing stupid people from killing themselves. This is vid, your overwhelmed demidiety. Peace out, prosper, rock on and party hard. Current Mood: angry Current Music: Dr. Worm by They Might Be Giants (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 14th, 2004
6:45 pm	Bad rants, ponderings, pluggings, and a major pet peeve (i.e. a short rant) Wow. After an unbelievably high number of you (3) told me about my last rant, I looked it over, and I will admit it: I went off half-cocked. I violated my principals regarding religious bashing (save it for when it's deserved, like in the case of the evangilacal U.S. General who smeared Islam in a speech while in uniform, hurting the "war on terror," in which he didn't get fired by Bush so as to not to anger the Christian community), and wasn't really that funny. I didn't have my facts straight (When the hell did they make Pearl Harbor a holiday? I commend the U.S. Government for NOT screwing it up with needless gifts in an effort to stimulate the economy), and I.... didn't really try. I still stand by my opinion about the crazy person who could've kept my cell phone and instead made off with my socks, but that's another story. Well, all apologies. As for the ponderings, well, it wasn't really a pondering as it was a moment I'd like to take to mourn the death of Christopher Reeve. We'll never be able to say "Wussy! This guy's a wussy! Christopher Reeve could kick his ass!" in the same way again. Yes, that was a nod to Undergrads. And right as he was getting strength in his extremities... :::pops a cold one::: This one's for you, Chris, for making us believe that a man could fly. :::chugs::: Some pluggings. I just got started in to Everquest, and simultaneusly became pariah'd by all my friends. I can't find anyone to talk to about it, which is a shame since my free trial ends soon and I'll have to start hitting dad up for money. My AIM's vidGAMEinggod, for those who want to talk about Everquest and offer ideas on how to get dad to pay. And, um... get game rocks. There is no better way to meet people than to kill monsters with them. The way each class can only really venture with the support of others (good luck going as a wizard without a warrier, Paladins can definitely use decent casters, etc.) is a good way to create ties between players. Another plug is I recently played a single game of UT2004 (somehow) in between EQ games, and it's mad l33t fun. Onslaught kicks so much more ass than the Domination games before it. Double Domination kind of sucked and was replaced by Onslaught, so that's good, and UT2004 MARKS THE RETURN OF ASSAULT MODE. It's mad fun invading with the help of vehicles, and it's always disappointing to lose cool features in a sequel. This totally makes up for the hunk of junk UT2003 was. Lastly, Pikmin 2. It's like Pikmin doublemint. I only rented both games and enjoyed both, and I can't say which is better, but suffice to say, my biggest gripe with both games is how close "Pikmin" is to "Pokemon" (No bash intended to the latter). Lousy getting tongue-tied... And now, the rant. Memo to self: I need to start with the rants or make it an entirely different post, because I'm not in a very angry mood after the previus topics. Here goes the rant. This is kind of scoring a point for the other team, but there are some FAT FUCKING PEOPLE in the United States. Fat to the point where thin people get caught in the gravitational pull of the fat people. A word of advice from a wiser man than me (Denis Leary): If you wake up and you can't see your dick (or toes for a woman, I guess) stop eating. Seriously. That said, I would like to take a moment to back up the original purpose of this rant. Contrary to that above paragraph, I am not here to bash fat people, quite the opposite, in fact, I'm here to commend you for putting up with fat jokes. My dad knows this guy, who's his best friend, who we're gonna call "Louie," in honor of Pikmin 2. And Louie's got some friend, who apparently my dad and girlfriend have met, and they apparently hate his guts. I go, "Well, why father, do you detest this guy so much?" "Well... he's really fat." What the fuck?!? How is someone being fat, no matter how god-forsakenly fat, worthy enough to be considered such a tragic character flaw that you won't even accept the guy to come with your best friend to a D&D game?! Not once did my dad or my girlfriend mention any character flaw, whatsoever, only that he resembles Nell Carter and Marlon Brando taped together to make one big fat person. If you're going to outcast someone, I want to hear some hard evidence, like, "He talks way too much about his belly-button lint," or "he's a crazy pedophilic child-rapist," or "He works for the IRS." But for fucks sake, try to get past the persons external appearance and try to know the guy a little better. The guy probably has rejection issues already, have you ever thought of that, Slim Jim? It's completely staggering how much American society is based on looks; it's the only possible explanation Hilary Duff not only has a recording deal, but has made three movies and a hit tween Disney television series. Three. And a hit series. What. The fuck. If there was any attempt at looking for talent, she wouldn't even be out of the wet paper bag she would have been stuck in if she had something debilitating, like chronic gas. So in the future, I'd better hear something beyond something like "the person's fat" when condemning a guy, and it goes for fat women too, despite my exclusive use of the male pronoun. And the Weekly World News* wonders why Americans tend to have lower self image than they did thirty years ago. Fuckers. This is vid, one overeating demi-diety. Peace out, prosper, rock on and party hard. *I don't actually read the Weekly World news, being turned off by pretending people still care about incidents like Michael Jackson's law problems. I just see statistics regarding self-image a lot now, and used the Weekly World News for the of fluidity. </disclaimer> Current Mood: busy Current Music: Experimental Film by They Might Be Giants (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 26th, 2004
7:59 pm	Licensing, licensing and more stupid people. I had my cell phone stolen yesterday, and before you think of "Holy shit, Dante, that sucks balls!" Don't, it's a really funny story. My brother and I went to go swimming with our friends, and I put my cell phone in the locker room. The order of hiding it went "phone in socks, rolled up, in other socks, rolled up, hidden in my shoe and buried under my towel and shirt." We went swimming, had a grand ol' time, and when I came back, THE SOCKS WERE GONE, cell phone and all. I'll save the panic bits and get to the funny part. I searched and kept calling it with my brother's cell phone, and it was found in the parking lot, MINUS THE SOCKS. Before you don't laugh and go "That wasn't funny" look at it this way. WHAT KIND OF SICK BASTARD STEALS YOUR CELL PHONE, LEAVES IT IN THE CENTER OF A PARKING LOT, AND KEEPS THE SOCKS?! The only thing that comes up are people with sock fetishes and major schizophrenia. I don't know if you find that funny, but I find it pretty goddamn hilarious. This leads to my other funny story of the day regarding licensing, marketing, advertising, and name brands. I hate it. Seeing Spider-Man's and Shrek's face on everything from cereal to condoms grates at my ass-nerves. And there is nothing I hate more than seeing a holiday - and a CATHOLIC holiday, no less - plugged to extremes. So you wanna know what I saw last week? Santa and his Christmas tree. I'm going to reiterate. September 24th. With Christmas decorations. What the fuck?! This is worse than that Christmas in July bullshit Sleep Country tried to pull!What the hell is with advertising a holiday three months early celebrating a guy with more deaths in his name than all the creepy serial killers combined?! I was almost used to seeing Christmas lights in November, but this fucking takes the cake, you know? How else can you get to kill a holiday deader than this? I have an idea, let's make a NEW holiday based on a tragic circumstance! Let's make 9/11 or Pearl Harbor a holiday, those weren't even as BAD as all the people who died in Christ's name! All I have to say is maybe restrict the holiday celebrations into the same MONTH as they were created. That is just enough to get me to not get this pissed at you. This is vid. Peace out, prosper, rock on and kill advertisers. Disclaimer: I strongly suggest you do NOT kill people just on my say so. I can do without the lawsuits, to all the people dumb enough to take my commands seriously. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004
12:00 pm	The plugging: Part Two Yep, I have found three more things which make existence easier. Woo hoo! The first award falls into the Niftiest Technological Gizmo category, and it is Sony's Eye-Toy, for PS2. THe tagline is you use your body for the controller, and you basically get to use motion to do stuff on screen. Thanks to the Eye-Toy and two five-pound dumbbells, I am now sore all over my upper body. Thanks, assholes. Look what you made me do! The second award goes into the Redicously Entertaining Multiplayer Card Game category, and it is Steve Jackson's Munchkin. Kill the monsters. Loot the stuff. Stab your buddy. That's basically it. Simplistic combat stuff makes it of limited two-player value, but you can get at least three people it's worth it, what with all the scheming you can do to cheat your fellow players out of their stuff and sic giant monsters on them. It's a party game, pure and simple, and unless you're totally opposed to the idea of friends or fantasy, you all will be laughing your asses off. And while they're laughing, steal their stuff! The third and final award goes into the Wholly Engrossing Environment category, and it is Ubisoft's Beyond Good and Evil (multi-platform). Sure, the gameplay's all nice, tinging of a bit of Zelda, but the game has diversity in playing the game as well as the environment. It's kind of like being at a Furcon and saving a planet at the same time. That's a good thing. The environment you're in goes beyond words, but I'm sure if I tried describing it very hard, it'd suck. It's just.... really, really well put together. You owe it to yourself to at least rent it and figure out what I'm talking about. Peace out, prosper, rock on and party hard. Current Mood: geeky (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 28th, 2004
2:40 pm	THIS IS A DIABLO II PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!!!! Normally, I wouldn't post twice in such rapid succession, but I feel I have to blurt this out. A friend of mine, and I guess he had to be stupidly trusting to do this, but someone asked him for his account name and password for a cool item, AND HE GAVE IT TO THEM. Now, for the public service announcement. IF YOU ARE PLAYING DIABLO 2, OR ANY OTHER ONLINE GAME FOR THAT INSTANCE, IF SOMEONE TELLS YOU THAT IF YOU GIVE THEM YOUR ACCOUNT NAME AND PASSWORD AND THEY'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING, TELL THEM TO TAKE A BIG, BLACK RUBBER DICK AND SHOVE IT INTO THEIR FUCKING EAR. They are GOING to screw you over. There are always going to be stupid fucks out there trying to swindle you, and it's not just online. Giving an account name and a password to a total stranger is like giving someone your credit card and car keys. Why would you do it? Beats the holy hell out of me. So don't! And the people who would guilt trip trusting people like my friend, why bother? What do you gain from stealing from somebody stupid enough to believe you? I was going to say peace out, prosper, rock on and party hard, but it's pretty hard seeing my buddy's 40th and 30th level characters getting into some dickwad's greasy fingers, eh? Current Mood: shocked (1 Comment |Comment on this)